Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
