After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
