Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
