What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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