some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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