Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize