in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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