do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
