Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
