Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
