If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
