Only a mothe r could love this liver
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
