this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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