i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
