My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
