I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
