Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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