so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
