he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
