If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
did i just pee glitter
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
