so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
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CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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