Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

(770): View more from Georgia

b/c u have herpes

(310): View more from California

No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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(310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss? (770): b/c u have herpes (310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole. http://tfl.nu/unxh

Replies (19) Good night (1055) Bad night (5539)
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(317): View more from Indiana

It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.

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(317): It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/gh72

Replies (25) Good night (2930) Bad night (1019)
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(718): View more from New York

Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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(718): Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen. http://tfl.nu/l1y2

Replies (34) Good night (4611) Bad night (638)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?

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(480): Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick? http://tfl.nu/0q5p

Replies (21) Good night (4325) Bad night (1012)
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(937): View more from Ohio

What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?

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(937): What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out? http://tfl.nu/ji4n

Replies (33) Good night (1091) Bad night (7361)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic

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(202): I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic http://tfl.nu/pd64

Replies (12) Good night (1376) Bad night (4358)
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(518): View more from New York

Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis

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(518): Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis http://tfl.nu/kplw

Replies (18) Good night (7131) Bad night (1209)
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(360): View more from Washington

Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.

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(360): Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk. http://tfl.nu/k2pc

Replies (3) Good night (4135) Bad night (1326)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.

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(215): There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am. http://tfl.nu/7bo4

Replies (5) Good night (3203) Bad night (998)
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(518): View more from New York

I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer

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(518): I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer http://tfl.nu/dafr

Replies (18) Good night (2202) Bad night (701)
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(805): View more from California

I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life

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(805): I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life http://tfl.nu/x15r

Replies (22) Good night (999) Bad night (1674)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.

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(912): Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well. http://tfl.nu/02op

Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (502)
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(925): View more from California

I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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(925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai

Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (790)
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(519): View more from Ontario

we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...

(226): View more from Ontario

did I at least say anything...

(519): View more from Ontario

you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living

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(519): we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom... (226): did I at least say anything... (519): you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living http://tfl.nu/vjjh

Replies (6) Good night (2046) Bad night (462)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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(203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa

Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (345)

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