Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.

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(845): View more from New York

I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(785): View more from Kansas

I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

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(716): View more from New York

just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

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(773): View more from Illinois

I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.

(847): View more from Illinois

Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.

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(620): View more from Kansas

yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.

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