butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
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Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.