i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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