i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
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Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.