just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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