need another drink. this is the easiest way
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
