Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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