I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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