I think I died a long time ago.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
