I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
