so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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