why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize