And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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