Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
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I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
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BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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