after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
