So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
