Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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