i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
