So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Randomize
