And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
