Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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