how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
