I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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