i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize