You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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