im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
