but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
