Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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