i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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