between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize