real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize