mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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