i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
