you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
