What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
