At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
