My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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