sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
