i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
please come you make the beer taste better
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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