I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
